Politicians Speak

Crazy quotes that may or may not have been said by anyone.
Some arrived by email so feel free to disbelieve the attribution.

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"This comes from the heart, the gut, from the hip, the common sense of Americans." Senator John Kerry (Presidential candidate) in Springfield, Ohio, midnight rally 2 August 2004

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - George Bush, 5 August, 2004

Britain's Plain English Campaign has awarded its Foot in Mouth award to US Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld for his attempt at clarification on the hunt for weapons of mass destruction.

"Reports that say something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know."

Plain English spokesman John Lister said: "We think we know what he means. But we don't know if we really know."

04.12.2003 7.30am, The New Zealand Herald

"During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." - VP Al Gore

The day I made that statement, [about the inventing the internet] I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the Camcorder. - VP Al Gore

"All I have to do is be the best Al I can be, because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and, doggone it, people like me" -Al Gore, on Saturday Night Live, being counseled by "Stuart Smalley"

"I am concerned about the economy. I was the first one laid off." -Al Gore, in a speech to biotech executives in California

"You know you win some, you lose some, and then there's that little-known third category." -Al Gore, summing up the 2000 election during a speech in Florida

"I often get asked the question, 'Is there anything I would have done differently?' And yes there is. If I had it to do over again, I would have kissed Tipper much longer at the convention. But she was struggling." -Al Gore on the 2000 presidential race

"I am Al Gore, and I used to be the next president of the United States of America." -Gore, in a speech at Bocconi University in Milan, Italy

Most of the following quotes apparently come from Vice President Dan Quayle and are refered to on one of my favourite sites, Snopes.com I used to have them attributed incorrectly to Al Gore, many thanks to Brian for setting me straight :)

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."

"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit . . . Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared.'"

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

"The future will be better tomorrow."

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

"When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."


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